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Stupid comments made by otherwise smart people prove that intelligence is all relative.

For example, when I had the ex come over to look at my flat tire recently, he told me the tire would need to be replaced.

I know nothing about tires so my response to this bad news may have seemed really dumb to those who have dealt with tires before, perhaps even apparent to those who know nothing more than how to use that thingy-ma-jig at the service station to fill their tires up with seventy five cent air.

From my perspective though, and what was relative to my knowledge of tires, asking why the whole tire had to be replaced when it was obvious to me that only the bottom half needed to be fixed, seemed a perfectly logical thing to wonder.

My ex had a good laugh at this and then shook his head because he knew I was being serious. He added that it was this type of question and faulty logic that made him write with a big black magic marker onto a huge red tag he had affixed to the chainsaw he let me borrow after a particularly bad storm with the warning, "Do Not Attempt To Stop Chain With Hands!"

I told Mr. Smart Ass that he did not need to provide his own little safety tag for my benefit because the instruction guide that came with the chain saw had already included such a warning.

I had never used a chainsaw before and thought it prudent to read the instructions and the manufactures had thought it prudent as well to include this warning in their literature so there must be others besides myself that would perhaps attempt to grab the chain to stop it.

Now of course I think it would be incredibly stupid to do this, but others may be completely clueless, why else would the warning be there unless someone had actually done this?

I told my ex that I'm not a complete idiot and then showed him some papers the "smart" people running the school that my daughter attends had sent home with her covering all the rules and regulations on her first day of class.

I pointed to the section covering dress codes for the girls and right there in black and white it read: Female students are not allowed to wear t-shirt style tank tops on campus. If you do so, you will be asked to remove them.

These people are teaching the future generation and although I understand what the dress code means, I'm sure someone will attempt to sue the school board for this pornographic slip up.

That is the real reason for all these ridiculous disclaimers you see in instruction books and television commercials.  They are covering their butts from getting sued by all the incredibly stupid, or is that opportunistic, people walking around today.

When the Ford company thinks it is necessary to add a cautionary disclaimer to it's commercial where they have this huge, 100 acre concrete bowl with some type of massive centrifugal machinery in the center of it that swings the Ford truck around by it's bumper at about a hundred miles an hour and advices that you not try this at home, it really makes you scratch your head.

I've been around a while and know a lot of people and none of them have this multi-million dollar piece of equipment out in their back yards, and if they did, they would probably be smart enough to know how to use it and could safely swing their truck, or anything else for that matter, around without hurting themselves anyway.

I think it is the court system and judges in particular that are the most stupid people on the planet, contrary to the high godly opinion they have of themselves. You really can't blame the lawyer with no morals to take a case in which an idiotic judge could possibly rule in his favor and he could make a ton of money on some stupid technicality.

Here is an example of just how ridiculous things have become.  I recently bought a collapsible laundry hamper made out of flexible wire and mesh that came in a plastic bag about ten inches square and maybe half an inch thick. There was a picture of the hamper on the front of the bag that showed the hamper in its unfolded position filled with clothes, towels and other laundry items.

I bought it so I could just toss it in the suitcase on top of all my clothes and carry it with me on a trip to visit my sister in Florida where it just would not do to put our dirty clothes in a plastic trash bag...very "white trash" in her opinion, but then again, she did want to become a judge before marrying into money.

Anyway, the point is, the package was very small but the manufacture included the disclaimer that the pictured clothing and accessories were not included, which of course would have been absolutely impossible. I don't get it. Is there anyone walking around that is really that dumb? If so, how are they generating the brain power necessary to actually walk and breathe at the same time?

No, it is all about the money and the fact that a judge would probably give such a person a favorable decision and require the hamper manufacturer to buy the lady the items in the picture had they not put the disclaimer there.

Anyway, the computer laptop instructions suggest I not try and type and drive at the same time and I just spilt some friggin hot ass McDonald's coffee all over my lap so I got to go. Dang it, there is a warning on the cup that the contents may indeed be hot, can't an opportunistic girl catch a break?

For more from the mind of Myla, Please go to http://www.mylamadson.com