If You Knew You Were Dying, How Would You Start Living?
Posted: Monday, March 03, 2008
by Myla Madson
Myla Madson.com
The following was spoken during a recent funeral service held for my very special and very loved Aunt, Darlene.
"When my Aunt unexpectedly passed away just recently, my daughter remarked how sad it was but how happy she was for her that she got to be in Heaven. I thought about how much simpler the world would be if we could always view things through the eye's of a child.
We would laugh as we remember the good times and cry when we felt the pain of her loss. We would dream of warm hugs and holidays together and draw pictures of the times we shared.
If we viewed things as a child we may still ask why but the answer "I don't Know" would be good enough. We would be sad one moment and then go play the next, never feeling guilty for doing so or wondering if we had thought about it enough.
We would accept what is because there is so much in this world that is bigger than our understanding. Blaming ourselves for what we should have said or done would not even be in our comprehension.
Our minds would be filled with the beauty and joys of our world. If only we could always view the world in this way. But we aren't children and our thoughts are much deeper and our minds sometime keep us from remembering the true blessings we have been given…"
My sister actually gave this eulogy during the funeral services and she went on to recount personal experiences she had shared with my Aunt. There wasn't a dry eye in the room, especially after her husband of thirty years, a huge bear of a man, broke down and cried openly as he voiced his own memories of her through freely flowing tears of sorrow.
I couldn't do it. I deal with tragedy differently then most and almost stayed away from the service all together. I realized this was truly selfish of me and was there to offer my condolences' and miss my Aunt the only way I knew how…in silence.
My Aunt was an extremely energetic and passionate woman. You never saw her without a smile on her face. She truly enjoyed her life and lived it to the fullest each and every day, unlike so many…including myself.
It was a shock to us all when she died of a massive heart attack in her sleep just days before the Christmas holidays.
It triggered thoughts of my own mortality and how much time I might have left. Life is a precious commodity that we often take for granted because the ending is to far off in the future to have much consequence.
I often felt this way myself until I saw an episode on a morning talk show featuring a young professor and father of three small boys, talking about his coming death. He had pancreatic cancer and just a few months to live.
Oh my how I cried my eyes out. It was so very sad but he delivered a message everyone should hear. I've included a link to the video below and I hope you take a few moments to hear the words of a man who knows he is dying and how he has chosen to spend his remaining days. It truly changed how I look at my life and helps me not take things so seriously.
We never know when our time will run out so we need to live our life as though it is our last day. Just think about it okay, and watch the video.
Please go to: http://www.MylaMadson.com/lastlecture
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Top-level comments on this article: (8 total)I'm so sorry for your loss Myla. I watched the video and just had to come back and leave a comment encouraging others to watch it as well. it really makes you think. Thank you for bringing this to me!It does make you think and as I was watching the video, I felt my own mortality. I don't know how else to explain it but my impending death hit me like a ton of bricks. Thank you for the comments. lol
Reminds me of Tim mcgraws song, live like you were dying. i saw that episode on Oprah when the guy you are talking about gave his last lecture. the picture of him and his three little boys was a real tear jerker. thank you for not trying to capitilize on this guys misfortune, i'm glad you didn't try to sell me anything when i went to your site to see the video, sorry about your aunt, take care.Hi Louis, thank you for the comments. I'm not a paticular fan of Oprah either if that was what you were implying. I suppose she could be seen as exploiting others for financial gain... haven't quite made my mind up on it yet. I know she does a lot of good... but of course she can afford to. lol, Myla
Inspirational Myla, remember the heart, like the mind, has a memory. And in it are kept the most precious keepsakes. I am so sorry for your loss, just remember what is in your heart. As for the video, it was really a tear jerk-er but what an inspiration.Well ssid. I tend to hold memories in my heart even before the people attached to those memories even leave this earth. I'm so selfish but I don't know any other way to deal with loss or the possibility of losing a loved one. lol Myla
Hi Myla, very touching article. Personally, I have an "unusual" way of looking at death, I think of it as a joyous occasion. Sad for those left behind but at the same time, it's the second biggest day of a persons life. What I loved most, was your observation of how children sometimes react to this inevitable part of living. I look forward to your next article.Thank you Michael. I would give anything in the world to be as confident as you are about what happens after death and allow that to be what I hold onto. I'm embarrassed to admit there may be doubt but the evidence is there in the way I respond to death. Anyway, thankyou so much for reading my articles, it really means a lot coming from an expert author like you. lol Myla
hi myla, i am experiencing something a little differently, however, the pain is intense. my baby brother (46) is dying, and he has 5 kids, and he has just sent me lyrics to songs, with everyone's name on each song. it is Hell on Earth losing someone you love so much, and knowing it. we are all trying to remember he will be in a better place, but as michael said, it's sad for the people left behind. thanks for a great article. best regards, sue thomHi Sue, I'm so very sorry to hear about what's going on in your life right now...I got chills when I read your comment. I believe in God and I'm putting the pieces together on how I feel about Christianity, but I know there is something else after all this. There absolutely has to be and it's this that I hold on to when faced with the tragedy of losing a loved one. I've been to way to many funerals in the past four years and it never gets any easier. God bless you Sue and I hope you pull through this okay, I'll be praying for you, I know in my heart that helps as well. lol Myla
sorry to hear of your loss Myla. i'm attending the funeral of a family member tomorrow and i to wish i could avoid the whole thing. i guess it was better we lost our family member suddenly as opposed to knowing it was coming, that poor man, i don't know how he can stand it. take care
Good spin. The video was very moving although somewhat disturbing at the same time
Hi Myla My sympathies for the passing of your aunt. I don't know what your belief system is, but I find this helps me cope with the loss. I see the departed as not gone forever so much as just gone somewhere not connected by cable - I have a long distance relationship with my dear deaprted Grandmother. We'll meet again one day. I can't watch the video sadly as my pc hasn't any sound at present, but I will hook them up asap! I miss so much with them in the cupboard (space issues). Great article.Thank you for the comments and your views on this very sad and confusing subject. And sympathies to you as well for the passing of your Grandmother, i've lost 2 Grandparents recently as well. I'm not decided on what my belief system is just yet. I believe in God and I know there is more after death, I'm figuring it out. lol myla
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