Page 1 of Myla Madson's writing

1. Vacuum Cleaner Salesmen, the Power Company and my Ex's Life Insurance Policy. Okay, stop me if you have heard this one before. A vacuum cleaner salesman is making his rounds through the neighborhood and knocks on the door of a single mom who tells him to go away because she is broke and could certainly not afford his fancy... (posted by Myla 3 years 15 days ago.)

2. Death, Destruction, Mayhem and the Grand Canyon With a title like that, you just have to click thru and read my article, right? Studies show that negative headlines attract more readers just like horrific accidents out on the highway cause traffic jams in the opposite lanes by those stretching... (posted by Myla 3 years 23 days ago.)

3. No, Ms. Madson, An Estimate of Your Daughter's Age Just Will Not Do! I believe it was me who once said, "One thing they never tell you about child raising is that for the rest of your life, at the drop of a hat, you are expected to know your child's name and how old he or she is" Oh okay, it was really Erma... (posted by Myla 3 years 87 days ago.)

4. Get Off the Tracks!!! Life is a funny thing. You're plodding along, working diligently towards your goals, and just when you think you can see the light at the end of the tunnel you suddenly realize you're looking the wrong way. Where did you get turned around? Was it... (posted by Myla 3 years 99 days ago.)

5. Looking Out For the Little Guy So I'm in the paint store last night, or more accurately, the Home Depot. It was around nine o'clock in the PM hour when I thought most sensible people would have already taken care of all their home improvement shopping needs. Nope, wrong again.... (posted by Myla 3 years 102 days ago.)

6. The Beer Pager - A Drunken Review Ever had one of those moments when you come up with an idea for a great invention, never act on it, and then see it later in a store or infomercial somewhere? My ex has those moments all the time. His latest bright idea that someone else has now... (posted by Myla 3 years 112 days ago.)

7. Laugh At Me All You Want Is it my fault that God made me prettier, smarter and younger than all the other mothers at my daughter's elementary school? Do I not go above and beyond the call of duty in my attempts at making these less fortunate mothers feel comfortable... (posted by Myla 3 years 113 days ago.)

8. Virginia Woman Wins Mother of the Year Award in Landslide Victory Myla Madson was recently named 2008 Mother of the Year, and is already campaigning for the repeat in 2009. A statement released earlier by Ms. Madson stated that she was unaware she had even been nominated and that the award had come as a complete... (posted by Myla 3 years 122 days ago.)

9. No Child Left Behind Act - A Sneaky Military Recruitment Tool Any act of legislation is going to have its proponents as well as its critics. My parents, both retired teachers, were staunch critics of the No Child Left Behind Act signed into law in 2001 shortly after our now infamous 43rd president of the... (posted by Myla 3 years 124 days ago.)

10. How to Back up a Trailer, Camper or Boat When There's no Man Around to do it For You Thank goodness for chocolate pudding! Okay, that line doesn't make a lot of sense when this article is about how to back up a trailer, camper or boat when there's no man around to do it for you. My mishap with the pudding did, however, lead me to... (posted by Myla 3 years 125 days ago.)

11. Waiter, There's a Fly in my Soup In today's tough economy and desperate financial landscape, taking your kids out to eat at a fancy restaurant is probably not the best way to go about tightening your purse straps. I decided recently to do it anyway and learned a valuable, albeit... (posted by Myla 3 years 128 days ago.)

12. Tips on Hiring a Heating and Cooling Contractor by the Ex-Wife of a Heating and Cooling Contractor No, I'm not going to bash my ex or his heating and cooling business. I will, however, offer closely guarded insider information you won't find in other articles on how to hire a heating and cooling contractor. Information that will save you money... (posted by Myla 3 years 131 days ago.)

13. Let's Put the Global Warming Debate to Rest, Please!! I'm all for thoughtful debate over controversial subjects such as global warming, but the opinions of a growing number of doubters as to the legitimacy of this man made crisis epitomizes the ignorance and misinformed notions this group has on... (posted by Myla 3 years 132 days ago.)

14. My New Baby Weighed Just 3 Pounds, 8 ounces... "My new baby weighed just 3 pounds, 8 ounces. As I entered the NICU to see him, the whole world seemed to stop. I looked around at the other new moms, some crying, some locked in their own nightmare, staring like zombies at their tiny babies... (posted by Myla 3 years 137 days ago.)

15. The Ex Got The Kids a Termite Detection Dog For Christmas! My ex has been accused of many things ... using common sense is not one of them. The following story perfectly illustrates why I found it necessary to break my children's heart, move out to the country and nearly bankrupt myself to escape his... (posted by Myla 3 years 139 days ago.)

16. Do Not Attempt... Stupid comments made by otherwise smart people prove that intelligence is all relative. For example, when I had the ex come over to look at my flat tire recently, he told me the tire would need to be replaced. I know nothing about tires so my... (posted by Myla 3 years 239 days ago.)

17. Hey Mommy, Knock Knock... My son is at that age where he loves to prove just how dumb his mother is. He doesn't do it in a mean hateful way, but rather through silly little riddles and the type of questions that lead you to the wrong answer and make you look like an... (posted by Myla 3 years 296 days ago.)

18. I Just Bought a Nanny Cam… Now All I Need is a Nanny! When you are as socially popular as I am, you must often attend affairs and events at a moments notice, and it can be really quite difficult to find a sitter way out here in the middle of no where. My daughter is old enough for the job, and no... (posted by Myla 3 years 299 days ago.)

19. Mommy, Do You Think the Ketchup is Still Good? At about this same time last year, I had decided to throw myself a birthday party. It was to be an extravagant event for the ages; a no expense spared type of affair. Before you ask, no, there was no one in my life at the time willing to put the... (posted by Myla 3 years 302 days ago.)

20. SearchWarp Sent Me to Florida For Free…Well, Almost The last article I submitted to SearchWarp was about my daughter going to spend some time with my sister in Florida for the summer and a band named, Betty's Not a Vitamin. It seems SearchWarp has a broad range of readers or is easily indexed by... (posted by Myla 3 years 316 days ago.)

21. Betty's Not A Vitamin At the beginning of this past school year, I had made an agreement with my oldest daughter that if she could maintain at least a B average, I would be happy to pay for her plane ticket to Tampa where she intended to spend a month of the summer... (posted by Myla 3 years 330 days ago.)

22. Roosters and Used Cars... The other night after dinner, my oldest daughter called for a family meeting... Uh-Oh. These meetings are happening with alarming frequency as my children get older and I become, at least in their opinion, much more difficult to live with.... (posted by Myla 3 years 335 days ago.)

23. June 20th… I Finally Used My Mother's Day Present Divorced mothers tend to get gypped on Mother's Day because dad no longer feels compelled, or more accurately, required to take the little ones shopping to ensure a proper gift is purchased for the gal who gives so much of herself to so many... (posted by Myla 3 years 341 days ago.)

24. Dear Santa…A Letter My Son Wrote After Christmas Dear Santa, I know you usually get letters before Christmas and not after but I just had to write and ask What the heck? I'll preface my opinion of you with a recap of the preceding year, when filled with delusion I thought my good... (posted by Myla 4 years 43 days ago.)

25. Baseball, Cotton Candy And The Public School System…Oh My Being the passionate and responsible mother that I am, and one who would never allow public schooling to stand in the way of my children's education, I find it necessary on occasion to interject a measure of common sense and let my kid's play... (posted by Myla 4 years 57 days ago.)